Greg Hewlett passed away on January 17th after nearly eight years of battling colon cancer. While we grieve his loss, we are comforted to know that he is with his Lord.
If you would like to leave your thoughts on Greg, please see this thread.
If you would like to make a charitable donation in Greg's honor, please see this thread.
The Struggle Has Ended
Thursday, July 31, 2003
Issued U.S. Patents
Click here for USPTO search on issued patents
Click here for USPTO search on pre-grant application publications
20040233506 Damped control of a micromechanical device (November 25, 2004)
20040164980 Nonlinearity and reset conflicts in pulse width modulated displays (August 26, 2004)
20030123120 Pulse width modulation sequence generation (July 3, 2003)
20020130980 Control timing for spatial light modulator (September 19, 2002)
20020012000 Display operation with inserted block clears (January 31, 2002)
6,573,951 Non-terminating pulse width modulation for displays (June 3, 2003)
6,226,054 Global light boost for pulse width modulation display systems (May 1, 2001)
6,115,083 Load/reset sequence controller for spatial light modulator (September 5, 2000)
6,061,049 Non-binary pulse-width modulation for improved brightness (May 9, 2000)
6,008,785 Generating load/reset sequences for spatial light modulator (December 28, 1999)
5,948,091 Universal digital display interface (September 7, 1999)
5,812,303 Light amplitude modulation with neutral density filters (September 22, 1998)
5,550,592 Film mode progressive scan conversion (August 27, 1996)
5,519,450 Graphics subsystem for digital television (May 21, 1996)
5,508,750 Encoding data converted from film format for progressive display (April 16, 1996)
US Patent Website
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Or maybe Cypher...
Maybe it is more of a Cypher look than a Morpheus look. Here is Morpheus, Joe Pantoliano, who plays Cypher, and a new character from the next Matrix movie.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
No stent and some promising signs
Early this morning, I had a procedure at MDACC during which the medical team evaluated the possibility of obstruction of the digestive tract. They were prepared to put in a stent if it looked probable that I would become obstructed in the next few months, forcing surgery at an inopportune time.
The Procedure
It was immediately apparent during our pre-op discussion with Dr. Lahoti, who performed the procedure, that he felt my situation did not warrant a stent. The problem with a stent is that if my chemo shrinks the tumor, then the stent could become dislodged, causing a realm of serious problems. A stent, he said, is usually not used unless the chemo is found to be ineffective. Because it appears that I will continue chemo, as my side effects in the first round were tolerable (albeit not enjoyable!) and early indications are that it may be doing something good (see below), he wanted to hold off on placing a stent. The risks of waiting were better than the risks of putting it in.
Unfortunately, he was not able to get the probe through the narrow tunnel at the tumor location. He got some pictures and then after I woke up from the anesthesia, he sent me to get a barium enema (BE). More fun. I remarked to the technician that MD Anderson seems to enjoy sticking tubes up peoples butts. But to tell you the truth, these unpleasantries (yes, an understatement) seem smaller and smaller in comparison to the big picture. I am recalling how, in the process of treating cancer, one's modesty and sensitivity to pain go down as one gets carted off to this and that procedure. During the BE, the few times I groaned at bad cramps, they asked if I was alright. I always answered yes because I wanted them to take their time to get the best pictures possible. The BE indeed gave us a good idea of how long the tunnel was through the tumor and assured the doctors that things were not ugly on the other side.
The combination of procedures revealed that the narrowest point in the tract is 4mm across and about 2-3cm long. This corresponds to an approximate 85% blockage at that point in the colon. This sounded pretty narrow to me. However, I was told by Dr. Rodriguez that pretty much everything that goes through this point in the colon is liquid. That�s why I�m not currently having any abnormal symptoms of blockage. As long as the tumor is held in check by the chemo (or better, if it shrinks), I have a decent chance against becoming obstructed.
The consensus between Dr. Lahoti and Dr. Rodriguez (my colon surgeon) is for me to get back on the chemo plan full throttle and continue to keep a close eye on the blockage. Part of this will be a more restricted �low residue� diet. This will assure the liquidity of what gets to that point in the colon. I was also coached by both doctors on recognizing the earliest symptoms of obstruction so that if this occurs, we may be able to put in a stent at that time, holding off emergency surgery.
Is the chemo working?
They have told me several times not to put too much faith in the CEA blood level - that it should only be considered serially over time. This is a marker for indicating the overall aggressiveness of my particular type of cancer. In general, if it goes up, the chemo is not working and if it goes down, it is. For the first month I knew I had cancer, it hovered around 60-75. The normal non-cancer level is below 5. Mine moved as high as 123 just before beginning chemo. At that time they said I shouldn�t be concerned or surprised � after all there was nothing keeping the cancer in check. Yesterday, after one complete round of chemo and a week of rest, my level was 14! I�m interpreting this on my own (we haven�t discussed this with a doctor yet), but that seems to me to be a good sign. My impression of the chemo drugs I�m taking is that sometimes this type of chemo doesn�t work at all, sometimes it only works for a while, and sometimes it works well. The big drop in CEA to me is a good indicator that my cancer is currently in retreat. For now, I am very thankful that it plummeted far more than I even imagined it would. Thursday I will listen to the doctor's interpretation of this number.
Another thing that I noticed was a big difference in the colonoscopy photos of this morning compared with those of two months ago. Yes, it has been that long. Dr. Lahoti did not want to make any qualitative assessment because they were different kinds of photographs. But my job at TI is evaluating digital images and the ones from today looked much better to me, even given the difference in image capture devices. I thought today�s photo clearly showed less bloody walls and a tumor that is less out-of-control looking in form. To me, it looks like the chemo has been stabilizing, even neutralizing the tumor.
�So was it a good day?�, people ask. Well, the 4mm opening is a big concern, but can be overcome if we monitor it carefully and the tumor does not grow. The two indications that the chemo may be working, while not interpreted by a doctor, were encouraging� Two small indicators. Two reasons for thanksgiving. Two small steps towards the goal. And the way to walk 1000 miles is one step at a time.
The rest of the week�
Wednesday is a day off. Christine�s parents are here and we hope to enjoy some time away from MDACC together with them. Thursday I meet with a new clinical oncologist (we are switching from Dr. Xiong and his team). Friday I take the intense IV chemo, followed by the 14 day oral regimen. We will stay in Houston over the weekend because of how I felt last time I took the IV chemo and so that we will be close to the hospital should any problems arise.
Christine and I cherish your prayers. If you are praying, please ask the Lord that my digestive tract would not become obstructed and that the coming second round of chemo would be very effective and would not cause serious side effects. Also, please pray for Christine's migraines. The past weekend was very bad, but today was pretty good.
The Procedure
It was immediately apparent during our pre-op discussion with Dr. Lahoti, who performed the procedure, that he felt my situation did not warrant a stent. The problem with a stent is that if my chemo shrinks the tumor, then the stent could become dislodged, causing a realm of serious problems. A stent, he said, is usually not used unless the chemo is found to be ineffective. Because it appears that I will continue chemo, as my side effects in the first round were tolerable (albeit not enjoyable!) and early indications are that it may be doing something good (see below), he wanted to hold off on placing a stent. The risks of waiting were better than the risks of putting it in.
Unfortunately, he was not able to get the probe through the narrow tunnel at the tumor location. He got some pictures and then after I woke up from the anesthesia, he sent me to get a barium enema (BE). More fun. I remarked to the technician that MD Anderson seems to enjoy sticking tubes up peoples butts. But to tell you the truth, these unpleasantries (yes, an understatement) seem smaller and smaller in comparison to the big picture. I am recalling how, in the process of treating cancer, one's modesty and sensitivity to pain go down as one gets carted off to this and that procedure. During the BE, the few times I groaned at bad cramps, they asked if I was alright. I always answered yes because I wanted them to take their time to get the best pictures possible. The BE indeed gave us a good idea of how long the tunnel was through the tumor and assured the doctors that things were not ugly on the other side.
The combination of procedures revealed that the narrowest point in the tract is 4mm across and about 2-3cm long. This corresponds to an approximate 85% blockage at that point in the colon. This sounded pretty narrow to me. However, I was told by Dr. Rodriguez that pretty much everything that goes through this point in the colon is liquid. That�s why I�m not currently having any abnormal symptoms of blockage. As long as the tumor is held in check by the chemo (or better, if it shrinks), I have a decent chance against becoming obstructed.
The consensus between Dr. Lahoti and Dr. Rodriguez (my colon surgeon) is for me to get back on the chemo plan full throttle and continue to keep a close eye on the blockage. Part of this will be a more restricted �low residue� diet. This will assure the liquidity of what gets to that point in the colon. I was also coached by both doctors on recognizing the earliest symptoms of obstruction so that if this occurs, we may be able to put in a stent at that time, holding off emergency surgery.
Is the chemo working?
They have told me several times not to put too much faith in the CEA blood level - that it should only be considered serially over time. This is a marker for indicating the overall aggressiveness of my particular type of cancer. In general, if it goes up, the chemo is not working and if it goes down, it is. For the first month I knew I had cancer, it hovered around 60-75. The normal non-cancer level is below 5. Mine moved as high as 123 just before beginning chemo. At that time they said I shouldn�t be concerned or surprised � after all there was nothing keeping the cancer in check. Yesterday, after one complete round of chemo and a week of rest, my level was 14! I�m interpreting this on my own (we haven�t discussed this with a doctor yet), but that seems to me to be a good sign. My impression of the chemo drugs I�m taking is that sometimes this type of chemo doesn�t work at all, sometimes it only works for a while, and sometimes it works well. The big drop in CEA to me is a good indicator that my cancer is currently in retreat. For now, I am very thankful that it plummeted far more than I even imagined it would. Thursday I will listen to the doctor's interpretation of this number.
Another thing that I noticed was a big difference in the colonoscopy photos of this morning compared with those of two months ago. Yes, it has been that long. Dr. Lahoti did not want to make any qualitative assessment because they were different kinds of photographs. But my job at TI is evaluating digital images and the ones from today looked much better to me, even given the difference in image capture devices. I thought today�s photo clearly showed less bloody walls and a tumor that is less out-of-control looking in form. To me, it looks like the chemo has been stabilizing, even neutralizing the tumor.
�So was it a good day?�, people ask. Well, the 4mm opening is a big concern, but can be overcome if we monitor it carefully and the tumor does not grow. The two indications that the chemo may be working, while not interpreted by a doctor, were encouraging� Two small indicators. Two reasons for thanksgiving. Two small steps towards the goal. And the way to walk 1000 miles is one step at a time.
The rest of the week�
Wednesday is a day off. Christine�s parents are here and we hope to enjoy some time away from MDACC together with them. Thursday I meet with a new clinical oncologist (we are switching from Dr. Xiong and his team). Friday I take the intense IV chemo, followed by the 14 day oral regimen. We will stay in Houston over the weekend because of how I felt last time I took the IV chemo and so that we will be close to the hospital should any problems arise.
Christine and I cherish your prayers. If you are praying, please ask the Lord that my digestive tract would not become obstructed and that the coming second round of chemo would be very effective and would not cause serious side effects. Also, please pray for Christine's migraines. The past weekend was very bad, but today was pretty good.
Susan Dishman
Our hearts go out to the Dishman family at the loss of Susan Dishman, our dear sister in Christ. Susan and her family are dear friends to Christine and I, especially as we fought cancer together. We will miss her dearly.
It has been difficult for us to watch her fighting that horrible disease, as it is the very fight we are now waging. We have been encouraged at how they clung to the promises of God during the fight.
I remind myself regularly of one thing her husband John told us that they had learned in their battle. Don't get too excited at the highs or too depressed at the lows... the only true hope is in Christ.
Sunday, July 27, 2003
Counting hairs
Jesus spoke of God's knowledge of every hair on our head. Well, my count started going down very quickly this week as a result of my chemotherapy. Within a few days, it was quite patchy. So I decided to cut it off. I call it my Morphius look. Here's me with Christine and with Dad.
But I wasn't the only one...
Saturday, my father-in-law, Carl, drove me to the barber for my haircut to remember. He was in town to drive me and Christine down to Houston for the week at MD Anderson. To my surprise. as an act I interpret as a gesture of solidarity, Carl got the same haircut. Here we are the next day...
Monday, July 21, 2003
Outrage at suffering
some thoughts about suffering, evil, and the existence of God
I have been recently thinking about how I consider the presence of suffering in the world - or more specifically, my own. (Yes, it seems a bit odd to think about one's own thoughts, but doing so is sort of a hobby for me.) To put it mildly, I am unsettled at the injustice, or at least the unfairness, of my situation. But I know I am not alone in these thoughts. It seems that everyone else also has an inner outrage at something in the world relating to suffering or evil. For some, it is a simple inner revulsion at a particular form of political oppression or hypocricy. For others, it is an inner angst at the unfairness of suffering. For still others, the presence of injustice in the world causes them an uneasiness.
Much is made about the presence of evil and suffering in discussions concerning the existence of God. It is often said that the presence of suffering is inconsistent with the existence of God. But I would submit that outrage at suffering or evil is inconsistent with the non-existence of God. We humans have a sense that things in the world are not "right". We cry out to our Creator and ask "why?", either consciously or subconsciously. We have a sense of what "ought" to be, even though it is not. This oughtness, I submit, is based on a degree of knowledge of our Creator and his purpose.
C.S. Lewis puts it this way: "When I was an atheist...my argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A person does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line...Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning. "
As to whether the presence of evil is inconsistent with the Christian God, who is said to be loving and gracious, I would simply point to the reference source of Christianity, the Bible. I will readily admit that the light-weight, simplistic, Christianity found in much of America is indeed inconsistent with the presence of evil. But authentic, historic Christian faith is not. The Bible is full of honest reckoning with evil. It does not deny evil and suffering, unlike the situation where no one wants to speak about the 500-pound gorilla in the room. Rather, the Bible confronts evil directly and presents Christ as interacting with, confronting, and having victory over evil. While some might say the Christian God cannot exist with suffering in the world, the Bible implies that we cannot even conceive of the true Christian God without it!
This victory over evil as described in the New Testament is not yet complete. The resurrection of Christ is called a "first-fruit", which happens to be one of my favorite Biblical terms. As a first-fruit, the resurrection is both the taste and the guarantee of the ultimate consummating victory over evil. Whether one agrees with this is one thing. But one cannot say that Christianity is inconsistent because of the existence of evil and suffering. After all, it only exists intertwined with it.
All this is to say that authentic Christian faith cannot be shaken by the presence of suffering. In fact, it cannot exist apart from a true reckoning with suffering. This is not to say that the heart does not wrestle with these things. Mine certainly does! I even find solace in the idea that the heart must wrestle with suffering if it is to find God. One might even say that only in suffering is God most clearly understood. Drawing again from the words of C.S. Lewis: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.�
I have been recently thinking about how I consider the presence of suffering in the world - or more specifically, my own. (Yes, it seems a bit odd to think about one's own thoughts, but doing so is sort of a hobby for me.) To put it mildly, I am unsettled at the injustice, or at least the unfairness, of my situation. But I know I am not alone in these thoughts. It seems that everyone else also has an inner outrage at something in the world relating to suffering or evil. For some, it is a simple inner revulsion at a particular form of political oppression or hypocricy. For others, it is an inner angst at the unfairness of suffering. For still others, the presence of injustice in the world causes them an uneasiness.
Much is made about the presence of evil and suffering in discussions concerning the existence of God. It is often said that the presence of suffering is inconsistent with the existence of God. But I would submit that outrage at suffering or evil is inconsistent with the non-existence of God. We humans have a sense that things in the world are not "right". We cry out to our Creator and ask "why?", either consciously or subconsciously. We have a sense of what "ought" to be, even though it is not. This oughtness, I submit, is based on a degree of knowledge of our Creator and his purpose.
C.S. Lewis puts it this way: "When I was an atheist...my argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A person does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line...Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning. "
As to whether the presence of evil is inconsistent with the Christian God, who is said to be loving and gracious, I would simply point to the reference source of Christianity, the Bible. I will readily admit that the light-weight, simplistic, Christianity found in much of America is indeed inconsistent with the presence of evil. But authentic, historic Christian faith is not. The Bible is full of honest reckoning with evil. It does not deny evil and suffering, unlike the situation where no one wants to speak about the 500-pound gorilla in the room. Rather, the Bible confronts evil directly and presents Christ as interacting with, confronting, and having victory over evil. While some might say the Christian God cannot exist with suffering in the world, the Bible implies that we cannot even conceive of the true Christian God without it!
This victory over evil as described in the New Testament is not yet complete. The resurrection of Christ is called a "first-fruit", which happens to be one of my favorite Biblical terms. As a first-fruit, the resurrection is both the taste and the guarantee of the ultimate consummating victory over evil. Whether one agrees with this is one thing. But one cannot say that Christianity is inconsistent because of the existence of evil and suffering. After all, it only exists intertwined with it.
All this is to say that authentic Christian faith cannot be shaken by the presence of suffering. In fact, it cannot exist apart from a true reckoning with suffering. This is not to say that the heart does not wrestle with these things. Mine certainly does! I even find solace in the idea that the heart must wrestle with suffering if it is to find God. One might even say that only in suffering is God most clearly understood. Drawing again from the words of C.S. Lewis: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.�
Thursday, July 17, 2003
First chemo round complete
This morning, I took my last dose of chemo for this round. I am quite happy today, and to tell you the truth, proud, to have made it through this first round day by day. Every day I got a little more fatigued, a little more queasy, and a little more nauseated. Last night I had no appetite to eat dinner at all and forced down a bowl of soup. My goal has been simple every day: Eat. Rest and conserve energy. Stay inside. Work from home. Get through the day.
It is quite an odd feeling to force myself to take pills that I know are causing me to feel lousy. One part of my brain says �take it � it�s for your good.� Another part says, �don�t take that � you know how you felt last time you took it.� And still another says, �if you keep getting worse with these pills, where are you going to end up?� In each case for the past fourteen days, the �first part� of my brain succeeded. And now my body gets a rest. Typically, the rest would be for one week, but in this case, because of the procedure on the 29th, I will get a two week rest.
I am most grateful that I did not have the serious side effects that would have forced me to stop taking the chemo. On Saturday, I did begin developing mouth and throat sores. I called my doctor and he said that if it got worse by the next day, I should call him back and I would temporarily have to stop the chemo. I thought to myself, if the sores were caused by the chemo, and if I continually take the chemo, then how could the sores possibly do anything but get worse? So I rinsed with a warm water solution of salt and baking soda, as he suggested, and I prayed. Remarkably, they were better on Sunday and gone by Monday. I must admit I was very surprised. But also thankful.
It is quite an odd feeling to force myself to take pills that I know are causing me to feel lousy. One part of my brain says �take it � it�s for your good.� Another part says, �don�t take that � you know how you felt last time you took it.� And still another says, �if you keep getting worse with these pills, where are you going to end up?� In each case for the past fourteen days, the �first part� of my brain succeeded. And now my body gets a rest. Typically, the rest would be for one week, but in this case, because of the procedure on the 29th, I will get a two week rest.
I am most grateful that I did not have the serious side effects that would have forced me to stop taking the chemo. On Saturday, I did begin developing mouth and throat sores. I called my doctor and he said that if it got worse by the next day, I should call him back and I would temporarily have to stop the chemo. I thought to myself, if the sores were caused by the chemo, and if I continually take the chemo, then how could the sores possibly do anything but get worse? So I rinsed with a warm water solution of salt and baking soda, as he suggested, and I prayed. Remarkably, they were better on Sunday and gone by Monday. I must admit I was very surprised. But also thankful.
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