Three more months - still stable

Hi everybody. I know it has been a long time since I wrote. I haven't been much in the mood to write. I've been continuing chemo - the moderate level - in hopes it is enough to hold the three small tumors at bay.

Today I met with Dr. Eng at MD Anderson after getting CT scans of my torso. The preliminary look (a radiologist has not yet analyzed it) showed that everything looked the same. This means things are stable and I can continue on the same path. The two lymph nodes seems about the same size and the lung nodule may have even shrunk a bit.

I asked if the criteria for surgery might have changed now that I've been stable for a year. (11 months) She thought that was a reasonable question to ask and will talk to the surgeon about it.

With this level of cancer, stable is very good. I am relieved, relaxed, and thankful to the Lord for another three months.

Mostly Stable

The scans showed that my three small tumors (two chest lymph nodes and one in the lung) have increased "slightly". For example, one went from 5mm to 6-7mm. This is not considered significant enough to switch to the heavy chemo. This means I can stay on the more tolerable chemo through the holidays. I wish it had shrunk, but I am also happy to be able to continue living in the manner I have been, with just the Xeloda/Avastin. Dr. Eng suggested I continue doing what I'm doing. Taking a break doesn't make much sense because I am tolerating this lighter stuff so well. And changing to anything else does not make sense either. In the dark world of stage IV, "slight" increases are considered good.

Christine has managed pretty well in her pain in Dallas while I went to Houston for the checkup, thanks to the couple of you who checked in and helped her out during the week.

Master-of-things-web needed

Is there anyone out there who is a master of web-stuff who could help me automatically transfer this blog from its MovableType home to an easier to manage blog foundation. I was thinking of using blogger. I'd like to retain the archive articles and comments. I have some ideas how it can be done, but am not adept at writing scripts that access the web.

On a related note, I'd also like to be able to format all these articles (around 350 in this journey) for hardcopy-friendly formatting.

Any help or pointers?

A Prayer of a Sick Person

The hospitable couple in whose garage apartment I am staying invited me Sunday to St. George Antiochian Orthodox Church in Houston. In the liturgy book, I ran across a beautiful prayer, which I have allowed to guide my heart this week, especially in anticipation of finding out Thursday how the cancer's doing.

A Prayer of a Sick Person

O Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour, Physician of souls and bodies, who didst become man and suffer death on the Cross for our salvation, and through thy tender love and compassion didst heal all manner of sickness and affliction;

Do thou O Lord, visit me in my suffering, and grant me grace and strength to bear this sickness with which I am afflicted, with Christian patience and submission to thy will, trusting in thy loving kindness and tender mercy.

Bless, I pray thee, the means used for my recovery, and those who administer them.

I know O Lord, that I justly deserve any punishment inflicted upon me for I have so often offended thee and sinned against thee, in thought, word, and deed. Therefore, I humbly pray thee, look upon my weakness, and deal not with me after my sins, but according to the multitude of thy mercies. Have compassion on me, and let mercy and justice meet; and deliver me from this sickness and suffering I am undergoing.

Grant that my sickness may be the means of my true repentance and amendment of my life according to thy will, that I may spend the rest of my days in thy love and fear: that my soul, being helped by thy grace and sanctified by thy Holy Mysteries*, may be prepared for its passage to the Eternal Life, and there, in the company of thy blessed Saints, may praise and glorify thee with thy Eternal Father and Life-giving Spirit. Amen.

* "Holy Mysteries" is an early church term for sacraments.

BTW, does anyone know the date/origin of this prayer?

My Treatment History

My local oncologist, Dr. Shapiro, retired. Switching to another oncologist, I realized once again how complicated my treatment history is. The new doctor will flip through my massive chart, but she wasn't there. And I have come to realize over the years just how important a good understanding of the treatment history is critical for a doctor to evaluate new potential treatment options (one key example). A couple summary paragraphs that keep getting re-edited on previous medical notes do not do justice. Knowing my new doctor would have to piece together my past from a big pile of far-from-comprehensive medical notes, I drew up my own birds-eye chart, One Guy's Colon Cancer Treatment Path, which is my cancer treatment history in Microsoft Project format. She actually appreciated it and it made our initial "tell me your history" appointment more profitable.

I am making this available for fellow colon cancer survivors so they might know a little of what to expect or have at least some other reference for which to compare. Every person's path is different, but seeing someone else's might be of some help. For the rest of you - my support team - you might appreciate from it just how far we've come. A good time to reflect and give thanks.

Maintenance Chemo

I realized I have not written an update in a long time. Currently I am taking "maintenance chemo" consisting of oral Xeloda twice a day for 14 days followed by 7 days of rest. In addition I get an Avastin infusion every 21 days. The idea is to take enough chemo to keep the cancer in check, but at a recipe level that is reasonably tolerable. It's kind of like being in a military stalemate and shooting a few rounds across the enemy line every day just to let them know you're ready and make sure they don't get any ideas of advancing. If I go off chemo for much more than a month, Dr. Eng is concerned the cancer can get going with too much momentum. But to take the heavy stuff would be cruel and unusual punishment on my beaten body.

My scans just before the emergency surgery were stable. And my C.E.A. on July 22 was measured to be a very low 2.0, which is a good sign that things are well under control. I am increasing in strength and health due to some other things I'm doing under the advisement of MD Anderson's fatigue clinic. Christine commented that I actually seem to be in better strength and condition now on the maintenance chemo than when I was in remission.

But to be candid, I want to be getting rid of the cancer and not just being "stable". I don't want to be "doing well", I want to be clean of this stuff. Right now, though, they want to keep this going as it is. So I'm trying to build up strength and live as fully as possible until some new opportunity or obstacle comes in this fight.

In early October I'll be scanned and may get a month off.

Opening Ceremonies powered by DLP

Those big displays at the Bejing opening ceremonies were driven by DLP. Nice to know I'm working towards world peace (or is it assisting state propaganda?)