More cautious optimism

The CT scans are mostly clear - no definitive evidence of cancer. And the blood marker, which indicates cancerous activity, is normal. However, there are a few very small nodules in my lungs that were of some concern. They want me back in 6-8 weeks to scan again. These are not the same spots as a couple nodules that showed up a couple years ago but since disappeared. I asked Dr Hoff, who has seen hundreds of patients in remission, if such spots typically turn out to be cancerous or not. "More often than not," he said, "they turn out to be nothing."

Of course, I would have liked more certain results - but I learned a long time ago that there is no certainty with cancer.

Certainty must be found elsewhere.

First checkup tomorrow

Three months are complete. The time has come for me to be scanned by those skilled at looking for and finding trouble. Early tomorrow morning I will have my first remission testing. Then Monday I meet with Dr. Hoff to find out the results. It is his last day of seeing patients before he moves back to Brazil. I am very disappointed that I will lose my doctor, who has been most excellent as the director of my treatment. But my hope is that his leaving will not matter to me because I will have no need for him.

When I approach an event that has undetermined outcome, I will typically prepare myself for what I will do in response to various outcomes of the event. My heart will not allow my mind to do this tonight.

Instead I pray. Lord, have mercy on me and keep my body clear of this disease.

DLP family

My DLP support family at TI has been good to me, cheering me on through these treatments. One member of this family, Mary Metelko (who among other things has kept Dolce several times for us when we went to treatments in Houston), is organizing a celebration after work on the 14th.

If you are a DLPer and you're reading this, you're invited. Here's her invite:

Let�s celebrate Greg�s exciting news on the end of his cancer treatment. It has been a long journey that demands an opportunity to share fun times with good friends and good spirits.

Who: Greg�s DLP support family
Date: 12/14, Wednesday
Time: 5 � 6:30 pm
Location: Wizard's Sports Caf�a>, 747 S Central Expy, Richardson, TX 75080

RSVP to Mary�

Beautiful vacation

Christine and I enjoyed our post-treatment celebration vacation in many ways. The hightlights, including some unexpected surprises:

- Had a refreshing time with Christine's family and grandmother (without feeling crummy!). Together we enjoyed good food, good music, and just hanging out. It has been too long.

- Spent two days in beautiful Brandiwine Valley. I've lived in Boston and Philly for six years and the foliage was as intense and colorful as I've ever seen it. And we found some great restaurants in the valley (good food was a theme throughout the week)

- Got to sit in on the rehersal of Sarabeth and Melina in their school musical.

- Spent some very encouraging time catching up some good friends in Philly: the Corvinos, Lindhs, Gaffins, Salsburys, Currys, and Chris Meyer.

- Went to CCEF Annual Conference. They are the counseling arm of Westminster Seminary, where I graduated. The conference topic I'd sum up as an anatomy of anger - its source, what it reveals, righteous and unrighteous anger, how does it fit into the gospel, redeeming anger, etc.

- Enjoyed Monday Night Football with my brother-in-law, Michael (I probably enjoyed it more - he's an Eagles fan)

Brandywine Valley
Christine
Hats
Mati
The Murray's House in Glen Ridge, NJ

Makes sense to me

The spot/bump, which was our concern of late, began looking more and more like a fluid infection, as my body had slowly worked it outward to just under the skin. It was probably from an old suture that tore something when I sneezed or lifted a suitcase like I'm not supposed to do. Dr. Perkins, my Dallas oncologist, performed what was the most common sense procedure I've had so far. He simply grabbed a syringe, shoved it in, and sucked out the fluid. Makes sense to me.

This means there are no signs of cancer right now in my body given the technology they have to look for it. I am thankful to be living this side of heaven when two years ago I didn't know I'd be here.

I am cautiously excited. My next appointment is January. This cancer, especially at the level I had it, has a tendency to return. But my case is unique enough to not have any statistics from which to predict anything. And I responded quite well to the chemo, which included some new stuff that has only recently been developed. The docs are hopeful. We won't really know until the months and years pass. My mind is still trying to figure out whether its safe to consider myself over this stuff - it is hard to shift gears after what seemed like endless rounds of treating and testing. I simply hang on to the truth of Isaiah 26:3, the verse I've been remembering through this journey.

Meanwhile, Christine and I have been waiting for a health break to head up to New Jersey to visit her sisters and family. Looks like we finally have that break! We're leaving Friday for a ten day trip. More on that later...

Also, this week I got in the mail something I haven't seen since the first one came in June 2003:

Still observing

Dr. Rodriguez-Bigas wants to keep waiting on this spot. It does seem to be changing, but I am not an expert and cannot tell if it is getting better or worse. Even thought it is still there, he is reluctant to start poking my mangled abdominal wall with needles just yet. I am becoming more convinced this is not cancer-related. I am going to have my local oncologist take a look at it on Monday. The anti-climactic end of treatments continues...

By the way, the last post was inadvertently closed for comments. My faithful administrator, Rollin, has looked into the problem and we think it should be resolved now.

I am surprised that the 'stros were so soundly beaten by the Sox. I'm wondering if you Houston die hards are in great mourning, or generally pleased with the season, or perhaps still in shock...

No progress on spot

The antibiotics have not had an effect. I can still feel the bump and it is red at the skin over it. My surgeon is considering the situation and will get back with me - probably Tuesday. He still thinks it is just an infection, but they might want to do some needle probing. I hope he's right. More waiting...


Meanwhile, has a simple bad call ever had more of an effect than last night? By my reckoning, the score was Astros 6, Umps 4, Sox 3. Gotta figure these Astros are far from finished.