Biopsy today

The biopsy is today at 1:00. It is not as risky as the liver biopsy, and they said they always give the patient enough system anesthesia to make him comfortable. So I do not think it will be like the one in Dallas last summer. They are going into my lower abdominal area from behind and below. In other words, recalling Forrest Gump, I am going to get shot in the buttocks.

Dr. Hoff, who is usually very slow to speculate, said this nodule, as well as the nodule in the lung, is very likely cancerous. I will meet with him Monday to get the biopsy results. If it is positive for cancer, I will likely begin another regimen of chemotherapy. The hope would be for shrinkage and surgical removal - much like the plan for the other tumors. These are not really "new" spots, as if the cancer is spreading. They both show on the CT scans of June 2003, when I began all this. So I'm just going to view it like we haven't finished the job we began.

Enough speculation... Step one - get through this biopsy and then wait for results next Monday. Step two - another PET scan on thursday. One step at a time.

Disappointing news

The disappointment sitting heavy within me is keeping me from being able to express much today. I'll try to cover the highlights.

Dr. Vauthey seemed quite concerned. The nodule has grown. This is the spot that they tried to biopsy back in July, but which showed negative for cancer. It is in my lower abdominal area just outside the intestinal track. This thing - whatever it is - seems to have have grown significantly to 2.5cm. So they are going to do another biopsy this week.

In addition, there is a small spot on my lung that was not there in July. It is too small to say anything conclusive about it. We'll be keeping our eyes on it.

Monday, I will meet with the biopsy doctor to find out more about the procedure, including when it will be. They will do a CT-scan-guided external biopsy this time, so they can be sure they hit the nodule. I imagine it will be like the liver biopsy I had last year, but I hope not.

There are a few encouraging signs. The intestinal nodule is in a place Dr. Vauthey has never seen colon cancer spread. And the PET scan in July showed no signs of cancerous activity, even with the nodule present at that time. Also, my CEA remains a somewhat low 4.5.

Christine and I are thankful to all of you for your support in prayer.

First tests during remission

The days have turned into weeks and months since last visiting MD Anderson. (And yes, since I have written!) I am now in Houston for my first full round of tests since going into remission. The last few months have been full of relief and thanksgiving. Christine and I have enjoyed the time together at home without the chaos and uncertainty that filled our lives the past year.

Our trip to Yellowstone was wonderful. We did not want to come home. I hope to put some pics up soon. Last weekend, I traveled to Catalina Island for a little fishing and golfing on the occasion of my brother-in-law's birthday. Michael Murray is 40!

I will hear the results of these tests by Friday. Lord, have mercy on me.

Tenth anniversary, take two

Almost two years ago, Christine and I celebrated the tenth anniversary of our life together. We decided to celebrate by going out west to the Tetons and Yellowstone. We planned the trip for late last summer, when the weather there provides a nice relief to the Texas heat. Little did we know what that summer would bring. The cancer treatment forced us to cancel our trip. This was a deep disappointment, in part because it seemed to be a microcosm of the severe disappointment we faced in life.

Tomorrow, I am glad to say that we leave for the second try. This time, the trip seems far sweeter. It is not just a vacation, but a celebration that we can even enjoy each other at all.

Christine had her epidural injection I wrote about and a second one last week, with no positive results. In fact, the migraines and neck pain have only gotten worse. But we're going to do everything humanly possible to get on that plane tomorrow morning.

When we look back at the disappointment of canceling the trip last year, it makes us ever more thankful about this trip. At that time, one commenter wrote, "God has a better trip planned." I could only hope she was right. It now looks like that she was.

C-Leg Folklore

My leg makes its way into the American political fray...


D o o n e s b u r y. T h u, J u l 2 9, 2 0 0 4

Procedure today for Christine

While my health improves the further I get from chemo, Christine's condition continues just as it has this past year of cancer. And just as it has since long before. She is affected by migraine headaches several times per week and almost daily suffers from other body pain. Last week, a migraine as bad as she ever has had sent us to the E.R. so she could get an intravenous treatment called in by her neurologist. It knocked her out for 24 hours and got the pain back to a manageable level.

An MRI taken several months ago revealed a bulge in between two vertebrae in her neck. Her doctor thinks this may be a trigger for her many headaches. This afternoon, she will be having an epidural steroid injection into the spot under the guidance of a CT scan. There are no guarantees it will do anything, and if it does the relief is not permanent. Nevertheless we are hoping this will help. The improvement takes around ten days to kick in. She has had to keep canceling this procedure due to accommodate my ever-changing medical calendar.

Chronic pain such as Christine's is an odd thing. It does not have the urgency of deadly disease such as cancer. But often in the past year I have thought that it is in many ways worse than cancer. To be sure, cancer can kill. But it usually lasts a relatively short time before it is gone - one way or another. And it makes you into a hero. Chronic pain, on the other hand, just lingers quietly and mercilessly for years, trying to break the will required for daily living while the active world around you seems to just leave you behind. (Christine jokes that she was going to title her autobiography "Left Behind" until someone stole the title).

My heart is broken over Christine's condition. Perhaps the reason I have not said much about her pain in my entries is because I have not been thinking a whole lot about anything beyond my own serious condition. Or maybe I just don't know what to write -- there is not much about another day of migraines that can be said to be "news". In any case, I hope that those who are praying for my cancer to stay far away might also ask the Lord for relief for Christine. She really needs a break.

Roses e'er blooming

A couple of weeks before Christine and I left for our trip to Houston, I noticed my rose plant had a serious case of black spot fungus (Diplocarpon rosae). So I drastically pruned the plant back, removed all leaves showing the disease, and cut out the parts that had already died. As a novice, I had no idea whether it would survive. When we returned this week from Houston, I was greeted in my backyard with an abundance of roses on the plant. I'm so delighted by it's strong recovery.

Even my backyard seemed to be rejoicing at my good news.

Our neighbor Joanne continued watering our potted plants past when we told her we would return. The original trip was only to be a few days, as you may recall. While in Houston, we totally forgot about it. Late in the trip, we remembered and figured everything would be dead. Instead, upon return, the pentas were much larger - pink and full. The red hibiscus was just about to bloom this morning when I took this picture.
And I cannot resist including a photo of my gardening assistant...